3 AM Monday, March 5th 2018, The Couch in The Living Room.

Matsa (our Oscar-friendly cat) is lying sprawled on the floor next to me diligently waiting for the 90th Academy Awards to start. In case you wonder, yes, she is rooting for Guillermo del Toro’s movie, as it features several cats (grossly overlooked cat performances). I log into twitter ready to live-blog the event.

12h ago:

Jimmy Kimmel opens the awards and gives an ok-go encouragement speech to both male and female presenters to remember to thank their partners, families, colleagues. He assures them it is ok to get more vocal about the ongoing efforts to restructure the industry into a safe and equal opportunity environment. The shortest speech will also win you a jet, he says. 12 hours ago, Christopher Nolan looks at his most Nolanish.

Image result for oscars 2018 christopher nolan gif

Best Supporting Actor: Sam Rockwell

Bang! Three Billboards nabs the first award for the night. Sam Rockwell finishes his victory tour with a Best Supporting award. It’s an over-the-top controversial role (or, maybe, it’s more appropriate to call it bonkers if you like me happen to be a fan of his scene-stealing dancing moves from Charlie’s Angels).

Afterthought: Three Billboards is a weird creature- a controversial movie with a fascinating cultural impact. Still, how did it manage to snag not just 1 but 2 noms in this category? Damn! If only I could trade 1 of the Billboarders for Michael Stuhlbarg’s professor and Richard Jenkins’ slot for Hugh Jackman or Patrick Stewart for Logan.

12 hours ago

Best costumes: Phantom Thread

The first award pretty much everyone can wholeheartedly agree on. My 2 favourite Phantom Thread articles include Christopher Nolan’s hilarious family affair with the movie and an article comparing Phantom Thread, 50 Shades of Gray and the Trumps.

Afterthought: Best makeup went to the team behind The Darkest Hour for moulding Gary Oldman’s Churchill out of latex. Do you think The Academy got away from a latex face-off in the category since Ridley Scott replaced Kevin Spacey’s horrifying latex face in All The Money In The World… We will never know  for sure.

12 hours ago

Best documentary: Icarus

The plot thickens as Icarus, a documentary on Russia’s ongoing state-funded doping practices snags the gold. The revelations led to tbanning the country’s official participation in this year’s Olympic Games in Pyeongchang. The directors dedicate the award to the guy behind the big reveal- Grigory Rodchenkov.

Afterthought: The New Yorker has a small article on Grigory, which proves that whistleblowing is bad for the health, even when it’s less about hacking the NSA and more about de-hacking the Olympics.

Interlude: Hectic montage celebrates 90 years of Oscar showtime and cinema. They could have used a few suggestions from YouTube but it’s still super neat to notice bits from IT, Wonder Woman and Black Panther. Yass, Hollywood!

Best Sound/Sound Mixing: Dunkirk

Chris Nolan cracks a small smile at Dunkirk‘s first win of the night. His smile grows a tiny bit larger by the second one, which makes you wonder just how many Oscars he can actually handle.

Afterthought: It is kind of outrageous to have Baby Driver‘s babes present in their category and lose to Dunkirk‘s booming sound, which drew a lot of complaints. It’s a totally Oscar-y thing but Baby Driver could have totally gotten some sound love.

Best Production Design: The Shape Of The Water

The most hilarious thing happens at this point on twitter. Laura Rozen, a foreign policy US reporter roasts all the people who stay up all night to watch the Oscars when you can watch re-runs. She then starts roasting The Shape Of The Water and praising Get Out. I am in awe.

At the Empire front, James Dyer is triggered by the results, while Chris Hewitt seems glowing. Awe intensifies. The Latin Lover presents the song from Coco. My mind struggles to register the very moment Salma Hayek, Ashley Judd and Annabella Sciorra take the stage on behalf of #MeToo but I shudder to think how they had to pass by Harvey Weinstein’s statue on their way to the ceremony…

Best Foreign Movie: A Fantastic Woman (Una mujer fantástica)

I am ashamed to admit knowing little to nothing about this movie but vaguely remember it is included in our SFF (Sofia Film Festival) programme. As it turns out it is one of the most poignant players of the night. A Fantastic Woman, I read,  features Daniela Vega (a transgender actress) taking on the role of Marina, a transgender waitress/singer who, in the aftermath of losing her boyfrien, has to face his hostile family.

Afterthought: Daniela Vega and all the gifs from the movie look gorgeous. It is amazing that it will be screened in Bulgaria given the recent unfathomable socio-cultural backlash against the Istanbul Convention, which led to a wave of transphobia.

Interlude: I loved everything about The Last Jedi cast’s appearance. Kudos to Mark Hamill for not giving La La Land another award and BB8 for not roasting all the Oscar voters who snubbed The Last Jedi (it lost the sound/sound mixing award to Dunkirk and the production design one to The Shape of The Water).

Afterthought: I vaguely remember seeing a Frida Kahlo lookalike in a red dress in the audience. Then, it’s time for Sufjan Stevens in a great jacket, which sadly isn’t the green jacket but he gets a dramatic exit.

11 hours ago

Best Adapted Screenplay: Call Me By Your Name

Peach Perfect!!

Best Original Screenplay: Get Out

Like last year’s win for Moonlight, I tried to squash my hopes and like last year, this felt like a major life-changing moment. I wish Jordan Peele could ride the jet and pump his fist into the glorious sunrise. I hope someone can draw this. Also,please include the other nominees cheering for him.

Interlude: Weird war montage. Not a tribute to Dunkirk and how war movies should stop glorifying war. The moment I see scenes from American Sniper, I wish I could sink into my couch. This feels like the Sunken Place.

Best Cinematography: Roger Deakins

Coolio, sir!

Afterthought: I am 80% sure that once the Deaks fan following cools down, we will see more of the articles we saw after Leonardo won that Oscar: 10 More Deserving Movies Roger Deakins Should Have Won For. It’s good when the Academy comes clear and finally rewards incredibly talented people but why the long wait?

10 hours ago

Interlude: Jimmy Kimmel decided to do a sequel to last year’s stunt and this time crash a screening with a few actors/actresses. Why crash A Wrinkle In Time when you can give viewers of Hurricane Heist or Gringo a chance to escape (after being bombarded by Armie Hammer’s hot dog machine)?

I leave the room to feed the cat, gulp some water and pray Tiffany Hadish and Maya Rudolph get to host the Oscars last year (in a universe where they take an active part in all the arrangements and the ceremony has the same running time as Thor Ragnarok. We would take the one with the Taika Waititi commentary, obviously. And Kumanil Nanjiani/Lupita Nyong’o as co-hosts.

Logging off the Twitter Hell Machine

My brother is up and he sits with me. The Oscars are entering their 4th hour. I am slowly agonizing even though the best is yet to come. Matsa also seems less enthused than before even though she has already eaten and peed. Twice.

9 hours ago

Best Leading Actor: Gary Oldman

My brother is staring at the nominees with pure unfiltered confusion. He heard about the James Franco situation but he doesn’t recognize anyone other than Commissioner Gordon and John Creasy. Matsa and I are running out of steam but we feed him all the A-Z  Daniel Kaluuya and Timothée Chalamet essentials since they are our favourites. The Oscars take their predicted turn.

Best Leading Actress: Francis McDormand

Just do it! She gives The Speech.

Best Director: Guillermo del Toro

We muster enough energy to cheer for Guillermo as both Hellboy and Pan’s Labyrinth are big films for the family. James Dyer is probably going bonkers (I hope more in a Charlie’s Angels manner). Guillermo’s speech is magical.

Afterthought: No matter the debate regarding The Shape of The Water, everyone loves Guillermo del Toro solidly. Nuff.

Best Picture: The Shape of The Water

What a beautiful moment! After getting Faye Dunnaway and Warren Beatty back and I wait for The Billboarders to hop on the scene, Guillermo del Toro walks up the stage to pick his award. At this point, 4 hours later, it is hard to form a worthy statement but you could read the joy and admiration in everyone’s eyes (in the room). Guillermo checks the envelope and breaks into a wide grin! My brother and I high-five.

Afterthought: The Oscars are slowly changing inside out and the new members are making a huge difference to the Academy Awards. There were a lot of great movies which got recognition and a lot which were left out but the new direction is a good one.

P.S. I am very happy Guillermo del Toro’s other and otherworldly movie won. I also like to think that James Dyer’s and Laura Rozen’s shared contempt for the movie might be the start of a beautiful friendship.

This one is to Paul, Oscar-worthy in every which way.